Fishing, Family, Life and Our Legacy

“The horizon is a perfect line between sky and water. Man’s goal in society is to be remembered. In nature, it is to be forgotten, unnoticed.” 

“I don’t know what sisters do. Maybe they hug and cry and purge their pain together. Not brothers. Our job is to stay out of the way. Let him scream and hate and keep your mouth shut. Let him get it out and carry him home if he needs it. Or better yet, let him find his own way. Best thing a brother can do, and the hardest, is shut up and listen.” 

I binge-watched "The Madison" the other day. The quotes above are from Kurt Russell's character, Preston Clyburn, as he is describing the differences between the land in Montana, the beach and man - and the relationship he has with his brother. 

Having to get Immunotherapy again for the first time in three years, I was tired afterwards. I called it an early day and went home and watched the whole first season in a day. (Six episodes.) I could relate to much of what Preston aspires to. Without giving away too much of the plot, let's just say that a tragedy occurs, and the rest of the episodes are about everyone coming to grips with loss, while discovering a world they had never experienced before, like he did. 

He meets his brother out in Montana at least once a year to fish. Sometimes they can't because the water's too high, or it's snowing, but they find other things to do - like build a series of cottages on their land, or they drink and enjoy the beauty of the land and river around them. 

Brothers enjoying the joy of fishing

For 40 years I've been blessed with a brotherhood that consists of my brother and over a dozen other fine men of all ages, and we share a week together on the Outer Banks surf fishing. This brotherhood and our 4 decades worth of stories make up the majority of my blogs on this site, so I won't reminisce here about our stories, or how much I appreciate all these guys. And it thrills me greatly that our sons now join us to carry on the tradition. But it is not lost on me that we are mortal. Every year I wonder if our ranks will be diminished by the time we all come together again. And, could it be me that is missing.... The first quote, about man's goal, struck me because I see truth in it. The horizon is perfectly defined at the beach - ocean ending in a straight line where sky begins. Man's purpose among his fellow man is to leave a mark, leave his family with a legacy, an inheritance, a purpose. It is said a man dies twice. The first time when he dies; the second when nobody ever brings up his name again. May we all have a legacy that is remembered fondly for generations. 

I was on the Outer Banks a couple weekends ago with my family. While walking across the beach, I passed a plastic bag. My daughter said, "Dad, pick up that bag". I saw the bag, grabbed it and deposited it in our trash bag. I said, "I've taught my daughter well." On the beach, out in nature, man's job is to leave it alone. And leave it better than you found it, if others before you have sullied it.

My daughter and son-in-law arrived on the beach right before an interesting but quick storm.

Watching this front roll over us was awesome to behold.

  

And the sunset was amazing.

The weather and the clouds are always beautiful on the OBX

Our weekend trip was a special one. It was the first time my older son, his family, my daughter and son-in-law - and my girlfriend had all had time together. It was to be a family weekend, and a fishing weekend.  It's just that nobody told the fish, ultimately. That didn't matter. Many of my "brothers" were down there fishing, as well. That didn't matter either. This weekend was for family. And I was grateful.

Can't start the day without lots of pastries from Orange Blossom Cafe!

Butterflies and Beaches... there's a song in that.

You can't say we didn't try. The fish just weren't around.

Watching the sunset turn to dusk

The evenings were simple. Pizza the first night. Homemade pork barbecue I had brought, the second night. Playing guitar, talking, laughing and playing PopDarts. I bought the game for my granddaughter, but my son and son-in-law enjoyed it more. The Big kids. 

This game really is a lot of fun. Cornhole meets Jarts. But safer.

The next morning showed what the Outer Banks can do with weather. Saturday was June. Sunday was late November. Cold, rainy and windy enough that the sand would sandblast your skin or your car's paint. After a lazy morning and saying goodbye to my daughter and son-in-law, we went to the beach.

I have often said "There is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing." Today put that theory to the test. 40 M.P.H. winds and cold rain stinging you sideways, with sand blasting your skin. Fun!

Sasquatch sighting

Showing how the wind was holding me up. Are we having fun yet?

Fish don't care about the weather.
But they didn't like either Saturday's Bluebird weather or Sunday's squall.

The women were smart enough to stay in the cars. So after we'd given it a try to no avail, we realized there was a reason there were no other living souls on the beach. And we went back to the cottage to warm up and then go to a late lunch. 

Then after lunch at Tavern on 12, we went all the way to the end of the island, walking around the stores and finally having ice cream at Fat Belly's.

My granddaughter needed a little encouragement to become Fat Belly.
My girlfriend was happy to oblige.

Then it was time to say goodbye. The family left, and it was just my girl and me for a quiet night, before heading back home ourselves, the next morning. 

Life came at us hard again. The cancer treatment I've been needing got delayed a week because of insurance, and our jobs kept us busy. I was asked to share some financial words of wisdom to a local high school's Senior Econ classes - which I thoroughly enjoyed. 

Wishing someone had shared with me, at their age, what I was teaching them. You don't have to have money to be rich. Money just gives you freedom. Love for others makes you rich. And I am rich.

I find peace where and when I can. Last Sunday that was for a couple hours on the dock, fishing for blue catfish. Unlike the redfish the week before, they cooperated.

'm a self-professed bird nerd. I'm not sorry.

It didn't take long for the cats to bite.

A six pounder was first

Followed by an eight pounder.

Their bellies were full of these young menhaden. Schools are everywhere, and it makes me happy to see the ecological health of them and the river; as these fish are the basis of the food chain going up.

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Lots of "Loopers" and snow birds heading back north for the summer.

At least now I have some frozen catfish to make fish tacos when I want. That meal is always a favorite.

This week I got another phone call from my Oncology nurse, yet again delaying my immunotherapy treatment. I wasn't going to allow that again. I called my insurance company, my "nurse advocate", and told her the dilemma. She told me she would "expedite the approval", and that there would be an answer by the end of the day. The next morning I followed up with them - as well as my oncology office, and after going back and forth a few times, they received the approval and I was able to get treatment again.

There are a whole lot of places I'd rather be; but then again, I'm grateful that I have the option for treatment of my cancer. Had I been diagnosed a 15 years ago, I would have been given 18-24 months to "get my affairs in order and say goodbye." Praise God and medicine that's not the case anymore. I'm three years and counting. Bonus time, if you will. I appreciate every day I'm given.

I don't know how long I have. Honestly, none of us do.  I pray that I don't have an adverse reaction to the immunotherapy this time, as I did 3 years ago. But even if I do, there are other treatment options available for me. I know this: I'm blessed. I have a wonderful career, a family I love. I have found love again myself. And I have learned that we need to appreciate life - the little moments, the special moments and especially the time we have with those that we love.

Whether it's paddleboarding, kayaking, enjoying the river however we can....

Or stopping at a local brewery on the river for a refreshing pit stop

Cherish the moments when you can. They are precious.

I've lost a few dear friends to cancer since I last wrote a blog. I cherish their memories, and it helps me to make the most of every day I have. I don't have a known "expiration date". I believe my condition is "chronic" not terminal. But having a scare like this helps you appreciate all that you have. And I have plenty. My cup runneth over. And I am blessed, in this life and the next - whenever it is that God calls me. I just hope it's not too soon. I still have so much I need to do, so much I want to do. And a grandson I have yet to meet and spend time with .

I can't wait to take this little guy fishing.

Until next time, fish ON! 

I love this photo of my son. It's worth posting twice. This is the love for fishing we all share. This is one of our legacies. A love for this earth and its creatures. And being a good steward. Pass it on.