Fishing for Answers: The Dish on my Cancer.

 Cancer:  It’s a disease we are all affected by, either personally or through a family member.  It used to be a death sentence.  But thanks to modern medical research and development, it is not so much anymore, depending on the cancer and situation.  I'm sharing my story. It is to be continued.... This hasn't been a secret, but until now, I haven't openly shared, either.

About to receive my first double-dose of immunotherapy back in March.  I'm psyched and ready to beat this. I've got too much to do, to allow this to slow me down and beat me. Philippians 4:13 states, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Amen.  That's my attitude.

Eleven years ago, I discovered an "itchy" mole on my back that was “suspicious” using the “ABCD”s of skin cancer/melanoma identification.  While fishing with a dear friend, I showed it to him, and he confirmed I should get it looked at.  Sure enough, my dermatologist confirmed it was Melanoma.  In spite of my darker, not fair skin, and no family history of it, I had Melanoma.  I had surgery to remove the mole (1B) – I have a 4” scar on my back to this day – and the doctor took a “sentinel lymph node” to confirm it hadn’t gone elsewhere, and I was done.  It hadn’t.  I went to the dermatologist for the next 4 years, and never had another questionable mole, so I stopped going.  I was cured. End of story, right?...

(Side note:  even as short as 11 years ago, had my melanoma been “metastatic”, ie. Stage 4 and spread through my body, my dermatologist recently told me there would have been little they could do, and that I should get my affairs in order: I would have had 18 -24 months to live.)

Anyway, that wasn’t my case.  Life went on, and I lived a normal life, just being more mindful of SPF and staying covered when outside.

Until this past December…. when one night watching television, I discovered a lump in my underarm lymph node.  The size of ½ a pingpong ball. A visit to the doctor – then another, two ultrasounds, a biopsy or two, pet scans and more blood work than I can count: and then a call back to the doctor confirmed I had Metastatic Melanoma.  Stage 4 Cancer.  Those words hit you hard. I didn't go numb.  But I did take quite a while to process how just that quickly, with those words, my life, my future, and my plans all changed. I had to talk to the doctor again later, just to confirm I understood everything correctly.  So I guess I did go numb a little.  Or it was just overwhelming.  There were a few tears shed that night.

I'm not gonna lie. That was the worst week.  Especially when you are waiting, wondering for a week.... without a sense of direction of what happens next before your first appointment with an oncologist. (A what?  ME? You've gotta be kidding me!)  Your mind and spirit can wander into areas you don't want to go.  That was the worst part. You google a lot.  (Not necessarily recommended, by the way.) And everyone has an opinion on what you should do, and where you should get treatment.  Duke?  Johns Hopkins?  Dana Farber?  U Penn?  E: All of the above???

Nothing else was wrong with me!  I’m in good shape.  Good BMI. No unusual weight loss/gain.  No fatigue. I haven't been sick. No high cholesterol. Good blood pressure. No blood/lab work numbers out of whack. No heart issues. No illnesses of any kind. A clean recent colonoscopy.  (The surgeon even commented afterwards on how he could tell I eat healthy, for what that's worth.) No further moles or anything ever discovered by the dermatologist when I went back and he inspected me from scalp to toes. Nothing even suspicious to him.  But then again, the horse was already out of the barn. Apparently there had been one cell left behind 11 years ago…. and from there, it grew.

It’s now in my spine, my hip, my left lung, possibly my thyroid and my lymph nodes, of course.  (Did I miss anywhere?? One MRI showed it's not in my brain, at least. I'll take a win where I can get one. I can't blame cancer for me forgetting where my car keys are, anyway.)

But I am fortunate. It’s not 11 years ago.  And medicine has advanced tremendously regarding treating melanoma.  My oncologist told me that with immunotherapy, I can get it controlled and it’s no longer a death sentence. Maybe it's just a "chronic illness".  We'll see. I'm looking to "ring that bell" in the oncology treatment room! Can I get an amen!

Making the time to do what I enjoy has become more important: even if it means getting up before 3am to go do a little fishing before work with friends.  Time is precious.  Sleep can come later.

I'll add this, too.  I have been very impressed with the quality of care, speed and effectiveness of all the medical help I have had to receive in the last 4 months.  I've only had one appointment outside Elizabeth City, and that's when I had to go to Norfolk, to get an ENT's opinion on my thyroid. (No surgery or biopsy yet.  Let's see how the IT fares...)

I’ve had 4 double-doses of IT now, and yesterday was the day I had another full body pet scan to compare to the one I had in early March.  The good news is that my “pingpong ball” sized lump is now less than half the size (I can't even feel it anymore, praise God), so I know there has been progress with the IT.  Now it’s just what’s the next course of action.  That will be decided next week after we’ve had a chance to look at all the results. 

A weekend trip in late April with some of my fishing brothers provided encouragement and hope - that I got this!  And the fishing was pretty epic, as well.  As numerous Citation Redfish were caught by many, if not by me, as I was still recovering from a dose of IT.  Still, it was good to be in Buxton, doing what I love with those I love.

How many 1st birthdays can granddaughter #4 have?  Not too many, if you can only make one! I will be part of their lives, memories and legacies.  Take the time.  If you can't be there, make the phone call. Face time. Be active. There isn't such a thing as Quality time.  That's BS.  It's about Quantity! Make those memories for them - as well as yourself.

There is one wrench in my cog to healing, however:  I had to have a bone density drip to stave off any threat of Osteoporosis more than 2 weeks ago (apparently weakening bones is a threat with IT and cancer treatment) and that threw me for a loop.  A fever of greater than 102.3 for over a week led to too much Advil and Tylenol – and that sent my liver numbers crazy high. I’m still waiting for them to rebound down.  Just like oil prices, they went up like a rocket and are only coming down like a feather.  Hopefully, it is just the Tylenol messing them up, and not “IT-induced Hepatitis”.  Which would be a major setback for my treatment.  But I’m staying positive with all of this. Attitude is everything. And my faith remains strong. I truly believe a positive mindset and attitude works wonders on the miracle that is the human body. Do not underestimate the Spirit!  And I would be remiss if I didn't state how many people I know are praying for me.  Each and every one is appreciated and cherished, and more are sought, for those that believe. You can't have too much prayer on your behalf.  I'll take positive thoughts and vibes from anyone, too, if that's your thing.

Some of my prayer warriors presenting me with my JMU-themed cancer prayer blanket.  There were tears of appreciation for their efforts, I'm not ashamed to admit. 

I’ve also realized a few things, as well.  I don’t take anything or anyone for granted anymore.  I don't have time for BS and won't tolerate negativity.  I’ve started looking for that “Bull named Fu Manchu” Tim McGraw sings about and want to enjoy whatever time I am blessed with doing and enjoying the things I've put off.  I’m fishing more.  I'm writing and playing my guitar more. I'm making the time.  My daughter got married last month and I cried the whole weekend – with happiness and joy, savoring every moment. My time with family and dear friends is precious.  My faith holds me strongly, and I am blessed with a career (and assistant) that allows me to have the time to get what I need done, and still effectively take care of my clients.  Life is good.  It really is.

One of the few moments at the Rehearsal Dinner when I wasn't crying, I am blessed and will cherish this moment forever.  (My "5 minute speech" was double that, thanks to tears of joy.)

Cherish the moments you can.  At least I'm not crying in this photo of our Daddy/Daughter Dance.

What does my granddaughter think?  I don't know, but I'm determined to find out.

What are you saving the good stuff for?  Share with those you love, while you can!  Tomorrow isn't guaranteed, and it might not be you whose number is called.  Make every moment count.

My 92 year old mother, dealing with her own medical issues, was able to be healthy enough to come and share the joy!  Four generations of family and love celebrated the weekend.

So, I guess my conclusion to this post is this:  There is something to be said for us ALL, regardless of our predicament, to "live like we were dying".  Have purpose. Don't go through your days without recognizing that each one is numbered. And leave a legacy of love and faith for your family - without regret, for whenever your due date (I don't think of it as an expiration) arrives.  Thanks for reading this.  I hope it helps to encourage you in some way.  Stay tuned.... 

Early morning fishing at River Dunes led to several fun (small) fish to catch.  It beats sleeping.

Later in the day with my son (in the background) also proved to be fruitful.  Time with family and those you love is what counts - not the fish.  (But I did catch more than him!)  ;)

I even caught the Astrological sign of Cancer:  the crab.  I couldn't get away from it... :)  Too soon? Laughter has been a key to my positive attitude through this.  It makes a difference.

Take the time to stop along the back roads and appreciate the flowers - whether they're wild or the local farmer's vibrant canola crop.

But don't forget about your own backyard, as well.  Enjoy the fragrant gardenias you may have neglected for a while, too.  They are fleeting, as are we all.

Catching up after 8 years... for our 35th Annual Boys Week

 Wow, it's been eight years since I've added a blog post.  Life happened.  Mostly good, though.  Except for my father's passing 6 years ago.  I guess I'll always miss him.  Anyway, a few things have changed for Boys week, so let's get to it and get caught up.

Shortly after BW'13, Rise of the Plastic Navy, we made Boys Weekend become Boys Week, and we moved it to the last week in October.  We realized since big striped bass no longer migrate south of the Chesapeake Bay, and the chopper blues are no longer around, we should focus on red drum.  And their peak Autumn bite is around the end of October.

Mike and Jerry have been in charge of finding cottages down on Hatteras Island, large enough for the whole gang, and we have had fairly good and consistent success with our transition.  We've had our 30th BW, and this year we celebrated our 35th Annual Boys Week.  

This photo of "Percy the Pelican" is the photo I'm most proud of over the last few years.  Early morning, and a pelican who had learned humans are happy to feed him old bait.  Here he is watching his cohorts diving into the ocean off the Point.

We're consistently at least 10 boys now, and have been up to 14 or so.  Yes, moving to October has been a welcome change.  No longer needed are thick neoprene waders and lots of heavy layers.  In fact, I haven't even used my lightweight waders the last several years, as the air and water temps are still quite warm and comfortable.  No longer is frostbite a threat; now, we have to make sure we have sunscreen.

And we have caught fish!  Lots of fish.  Decent taylor bluefish have blitzed the beach.  We've caught pompano, flounder, whiting, sharks, grey trout, speckled trout, stripers (off the bridge) -- and of course drum.  I even targeted a school of houndfish swimming in the waves, and hooked a large one on a sting silver several years ago. 

Blackened redfish for supper, from 2019

How to make blackened redfish.  First, catch a slot sized redfish... something that proved to be a challenge this year.

The group from 2 years ago.

A stop at the little bridge to Manteo on the first morning, is usually good for specks, pups and a striper or two.  Then it's off to Hatteras!

Prime rib for dinner, from 2 years ago.

My brother casting into the surf off Frisco 2 years ago.

A giant houndfish, aka a Marsh Marlin.  And boy do they jump like one!

But of course, the focus of our efforts is drum.  Large drum.  Puppy drum are delicious, so we are always happy to throw one of them in the cooler for dinner, and yearlings are fun, too.  But we want big fish.

A little more than 4 years ago, the constant, shifting sands of the Point of Buxton created "Shelly Island".  A spit of land directly south of the Point, only reachable at low tide.  Not only was it an excellent place to find all kinds of beautiful shells -including Scotch Bonnets - but the fishing was awesome.  There was one morning when our group and maybe one or two others were the only ones that made it on to the island before the tide made it unreachable.  We had a great day of fishing, with Mark leading the pack with 8 large drum caught.  The rest of us all caught at least 3 or 4.  And the weather was perfect.  These are just a few of the pics and fish from that year.  Too many to count, total.

Alan with a pup

J.J. with one, too

Another pup

Rob with one.

Fred on one of his last BW's....

The beginning of another wonderful day on the island.

Mark casting from the edge of Shelly Island

Jerry with one of his drum

Shelly Island only lasted the one year, before Mother Ocean reclaimed it.  But the memory of it will always be there.  Unfortunately, now it looks like Mother Ocean wants to reclaim the Point, too.  It is significantly smaller than it's been since we've been going.  And that only means it's more crowded, too.  Especially when the fish are biting.

This photo taken this week shows a rising tide getting ready to reclaim a portion of the SW side of the Point, basically turning the Point into a Peninsula.  Then it will take nothing to reduce that.

With so many participants, it must be said we eat well!  As one of the guys is a food rep, we eat better than if we ate at restaurants every day.  And with one of the guys bringing his Blackstone grill, we have shown that just because you are on the beach doesn't mean that you must only eat sandwiches.

Denny's ain't this good for breakfast!

Jeff J. serving up my bbq, wearing his BW35 sanctioned fishing hat.

This week's supply of quality bourbon

A good way to start the day... after coffee

Enjoying my favorite craft DIPA, Lighthouse, by the lighthouse.

Mike's famous "Beach Cobbler" is always a hit.

So that brings me to this year's fish.  This won't take long.  They were few and far between.  

Saturday, blues were the fish of the day, with a few sharks and flounder thrown in.  Sunday was nothing but flounder - but with them out of season, they were all returned to the sea after being caught.  At least we caught something.  Monday there was nothing until dark, and then I hooked a 4 foot sandbar shark.  Then 2 drum were caught.  Mike caught a 38" drum (2 short of a citation) and Rob caught a 42" drum.  He earned the citation for the week!  Then John caught a 3 foot sandbar.

My last fish was my 2nd fish:  a 16" grey trout that got returned to grow bigger.

Andre holding one of the many flounder we all caught the first part of the week.
BTW, Andre makes the best hot sauce ever!  And we are so grateful he brings us each some every year!
His venison jerky and summer sausage are hard to beat, too!

My biggest shark - that I landed, at least.  A 4' sandbar.

Mike's 38" drum

Jeff D. fighting a shark on Saturday.

A 3' sandbar looks even smaller when held by 6'4" Johnny.

So when fishing isn't any good, what do we do?  Besides eating and drinking well, we take pictures of beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

Fred the 4Runner got replaced last year by Fiona.  And she looks great on the beach.

The photo I sent my assistant at work.  "My office chair for the week".

Just another day in paradise....

Rob with his winning big fish of the week:  a citation 42" drum caught Monday night.

I know i've neglected a lot of what happened over the last 8 years.  And these are only a few of the highlights of this 35th Annual Boys Week.  But, we're grateful we get to do this every year; and no sooner does one end, when we all are already looking forward to the next one. 

I'm blessed with the best band of brothers a man can know.  We had a new guy join us this year.  Cam.

He didn't catch a fish.  Didn't even get one bite.  Yet he still said he had an absolute blast, and can't wait until next year.  His words:  We are over the top, with our commitment to doing this surf fishing thing, and doing it right.  From the time we spend on the beach, to our menu, to our love for each other.  Catching fish is way down the list of what makes this week so special.  And yes, we can't wait until we do it again.  Until then, Fish ON!

Addendum:

 Many of the guys have sent me a few more photos from the past several years - from this year, to the "Shelly Island" day, to other years, to the Spring day that he went down to Buxton with Andre and Rob.  Here's a bunch of those photos.

Another decent drum on Shelly Island

When the fishing is so good, you all hook up at once.

A large ray with a long fight.  But this time Mark won, and not the ray.  He returned back to sea shortly.

Ted and Mark enjoying the Point in all its glory.

No better feeling than that of your rod bowing down.  And no greater sight to see.

Andre with his citation drum from the Spring run.

Mark with his 48" Bull red citation from this past Spring.  Quite a run.... next Spring, I'll have to go.

No shortage of short flounder were caught on Sunday.  Here's Chuck/Butch with one.

Andre's large bluefish led us to believe we would all be having a great week of fishing.
It was a great week... just not of fishing.

Time for lunch

Filling up your plate

Home made BBQ and all the fixin's

Shish kabobs for dinner Saturday

Just waiting on the fish.....

The flounder liked the soft plastics.  White and Chartreuse were the colors

'Merica!

Time for lunch with JJ and his Blackstone.  Nice red hats for the 35th year.

Mike must have gotten up too early.  Or caught too many fish.  Naah.  He got up early

Sunsets

Pretty....

Oooh....

AAah.  But we missed the "green flash".

This is part of a group of brothers I am blessed to be a part of.  Even when the fish aren't biting and we head back to the cottage for a break, we enjoy being with each other.  Just don't point out something on the beach and say it is at "7:30" when it's in front of you.  Right, Jeff! 
I love them all, 24/7, though!  Already counting down the days to BW'22!